Closet Confidential: A Review

As you may have recalled, I won a copy of Closet Confidential from the lovely Annie Spandex about two weeks ago. She let me know that it had been mailed off the next day (quick!), and then I started eagerly waiting for the moment it arrived.

When it finally got here, I opened the package as fast as I could (while ignoring Matt’s question of “What’s going on? What are you shrieking about?”). I devoured it in a few sittings and I’m here to tell you, this book is good stuff.

The Basics

So, if you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably never heard of Daddy Likey & its author, Winona. Not only is Winona hilarious, she’s also intelligent, and super sweet. This all comes across very clearly in Closet Confidential. The book is split up into twelve chapters (shopping for jeans, tops, bottoms, foundations, shoes, bags, coats, other accessories, dressing for work, dressing for working out/swimming, dressing up, and a chapter of “go to” outfits). The chapters are anywhere between 10-20 pages and are around 15 pages long on average.

The Details

Winona says right at the start that this isn’t a do/don’t sort of style manual. And I quote: “Style rules tend to be harsh and confusing, which is why this is not a book about style rules.” Finally, because I don’t know how many times I can read “apple shapes should wear this” before wanting to rip my hair out! Obviously, if you want to be told what to wear, this isn’t really the book for you; but I’d assume if you wanted to be told what to wear, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. So.

She covers a LOT of material. Look at the chapters list to see exactly how much. It’s done in a very fresh way – the chapter structure tends to change from chapter to chapter, which is great. Many fashion books read like the author made up a template and then filled in the blanks for each chapter – “You should wear _____. You should avoid _____. Tattoos are tacky. “, etc. There’s no hint of this in Closet Confidential, at all. Thank God.

Of course, you’ll expect it if you read Daddy Likey, but she’s laugh out loud funny. When other reviewers said that, I thought they were exaggerating, or maybe by “laugh”, they meant “smile” or “chuckled quietly”. No, you will actually be laughing when you read this, so be prepared to get funny looks if you do so in public.

Example: in a quiz to see if your t-shirt is ironic and cool or just lame, there’s the following question:

How much did your shirt cost?

• Less than $10 (+50 points)
• More than $10 (-50 points)
• Nothing, you found it in a dumpster (+1,000 points)

Memo to Winona: it’s your fault my cat is mad at me, because he was sitting on my lap when I read that, and I spit water all over him laughing.

Back to the bit about her being super sweet. I’ve never read an article in a fashion magazine, or another fashion or style book (aside from maybe Simon Doonan’s books) where it is so glaringly obvious that the author wants you to love the way you look. She says several times that she’s got a belly, she’s okay with it, and that she’s sick of the “hide your worst feature” outlook. She helps you focus on accentuating your best features, instead. Obviously, as someone who’s all for body-positiveness, I love this. I want to buy this book for everyone I know just because of this.

Also, she thinks white button up shirts are overrated too. In fact, she calls them “perhaps the most overrated, overhyped piece of clothing in history”. THANK YOU.

In short, you need this book. If you have fashion-minded friends, they need this book. Buy it for them for Christmas. They’ll thank you, I promise.