Wanna know a secret?
I have a tendency to get somewhat neurotic. And by “somewhat”, I mean spending hours unable to sleep because of worrying or feeling nauseous from anxiety. Which is, um, not fun! If you’ve experienced anything similar, you know that hearing things like “You should really stop worrying all the time”, or “Just calm down!” don’t help much. (There was a time when I would have bribed Matt with anything I had handy to keep from hearing those phrases ever again.) But it IS possible to get to a point where you don’t have to worry about dealing with the Anxiety Monster on a daily basis. Here’s what worked for me:
- Meditation. I feel like a cheesy weirdo saying it, but I seriously can’t put into words how much meditation helped me. Though it may sound pretty woo-woo, the science is there to back it up. Ten minutes a day of just breathing consciously (counting one on inhale, two on exhale) was what I did, but there are tons and tons of variations to try. If you’re looking for a place to start, this book seems to come highly recommended. (affiliate link; book is 8 Minute Meditation by Victor Davich)
- Yoga. For those too fidgety to meditate, yoga also concentrates on breathing, but you’re moving while doing it. I do (or try to, sometimes I miss a day) meditation & yoga daily, and it is such a great way to start the day!
- Other Exercise. Aside from the physical benefits, exercising releases endorphins, and having some time alone to think every day while doing something you enjoy can’t do any harm, right?!
- Laugh! I recommend Not Always Right or I Can Has Cheezburger.
- Logic is your friend. This one takes some explaining. Sometimes we get trapped in these weird sort of thought-circles. An example of this: one day, I thought “Oh, if I just had more money, I’d be able to stop worrying about it all the time.”. And then I realized…hey, I can stop worrying about money right now. Worrying about money doesn’t make me have any more of it. When you start worrying, think for a minute. Why are you worrying? (This sounds stupid, but trust me, the answer will sometimes surprise you.) Is there anything you can do? If there is, do it and stop worrying. If there’s not, stop worrying. Find something else to occupy your brain with. Watch episode of Buffy, read a Neil Gaiman book, play solitaire – whatever. Just do whatever you have to do to stop worrying. In my experience, after a few rounds of this, your brain gets the hang of it – it just skips “worrying” and goes straight to “doing what I can do”, and is much more apt to recognize useless anxiety for what it is. For more on recognizing patterns like this, I recommend Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck. Though the name & subtitle bring new-agey drivel to mind, it’s a surprisingly practical book – and a good one at that!
- Identify and remove triggers. This is probably the most obvious one, but it’s last on the list as it can be pretty hard to execute sometimes. This might will lead you to cutting stressful people out of your life (possibly friends or family members), removing yourself from a stressful situation (say, a crappy job?), or getting something off your chest. I listed ways to deal first, because these things can’t always be done easily or right away. Obviously, if it is easy, this is the best way to go! Even if it’s hard, you should really look at the things that make you anxious and consider why you have them in your life, with the goal of working towards removing it. (This might seem harsh in regards to people. There are some cases where the more ethical choice might be to help the other person out with whatever is making them that way. But at the same time, there is only so much you can do, and you are not a superhero. You are not obliged to solve everyone elses’ problems all the time. And I know from personal experience with family members that sometimes, there is nothing you can do to make someone happy, and they will still use any opportunity to cause strife. That’s just how it goes.)
So! Those are my tips. I hope they help, and if you have your own, I would absolutely love to hear them!
