Whether you call it the lizard brain, the Resistance, or your little hater, we’ve all experienced the nagging voice that says “Psst. You can’t do this. You’re not good enough. Who the hell do you think you’re kidding?”
Mine tends to pop up towards the end of projects. I can’t ditch the niggling feeling that this isn’t good enough to be let out into the world, why did I think I could do this, oh gods this is going to be a massive flop. It sounds like “friends” (now they’d be called frenemies, I guess, but I’ll still use the quotation marks because that’s a terrible word) who used to tell me that I was embarrassing them & I was too opinionated & why in the world did I do it that way?
Over time, I’ve gotten better at sabotaging the little hater, bit by bit. The first step to doing so is to recognize the voice. Know what it sounds like, what it says, when it shows up. Sometimes, you might actually be half-assing the project you’re working on – but it’ll feel different. To me, knowing I’m not putting my full effort in is head-centered. I might feel a little guilty, but I mostly get analytical about whether I’m doing my best here, and how I can do better if I’m not.
The little hater causes different symptoms. When it shows up, my tummy hurts. My heart beats a little faster, and I start to feel afraid – fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of shame. It doesn’t feel head-centered at all, it feels like when I eat something I wasn’t 100% sure about and then I psyche myself out and decide I’m going to have food poisoning and start feeling like I’m going to puke. With added fear dolloped on top. Because puking isn’t that bad, but embarrassment? Eesh.
After you know what it sounds like, try to:
- Maintain momentum. Both between projects, and in a project. If at all possible, try to finish the project and get it out the door while you’re still buzzing from the enthusiasm high about the project, before you have a chance to invite the little hater in. Try to start your next project before the enthusiasm & excitement about the first one entirely fades away. Don’t push yourself so much to invite burnout – but get a little bit of it started before you take your after-project break.
- Don’t be a perfectionist. Allow a certain (small) amount of time for perfecting, and then when that time is done, it’s done. No more editing. No more tweaking. Totally hands off. That’s all, folks.
- Don’t confuse being busy with being productive. Like Jay says in the video, we love to convince ourselves that just because we’re crossing items off our to-do list, that means we’re being productive. Not necessarily so. To help combat this, I like to split my daily items up into “remember to do this” (things like grocery shopping, picking up a prescription, etc.), “appointments” (skype call at 3 PM, hair appointment at 11 AM), and “important” (these get stars next to them to help them stand out & examples are record video post, finish guest post, finish writing assignments, and so on). Crossing off “remember to do this” items or “appointment” items doesn’t mean I was productive – the only items that count towards productivity are the “important” items. That’s how I judge how much I got done, at the end of the day.
How do you sabotage your little hater?
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